The Bidone Concept

The concept of the term "bidone" is a mystery to all non-Italians and non-Italian football watchers. It is very complex, but also very organized and precise. It is a name tag no footballer would ever want to be stuck with, unfortunately, there's no way to avoid it if you fit the criteria. The word "bidone" is a slang Italian word that cannot be found in a dictionary or put into a translator. There's not really a definition attached to it, but more like a description. A player who is a bidone is someone with the right kind of name, a certain look that just makes you think "This guy must really suck" and most importantly, he must actually suck at football.

Getting the idea of how to tag someone as a bidone can be quite tricky for beginners. Everything about them must spell out "Sucks at football". Their name must be one that no great legend has ever had like Torres, Baggio or Cannavaro. A very typical, generic bidone name would be Daniele Bonera(First AND last name must work). Another recently discovered name and now future inductee into the "Bidone Hall of Fame" is Mix Diskerud. That name just sounds awful. It's so bad, you might think he was a Croatian rapper or something.

Now that you got the name part down, it's time for the look. A bidone must have a kind of look to them that also makes you know right away that they just really suck. A perfect example is again, who else, Daniele Bonera. He's not ugly or anything, but he's just got that face of "Don't sign me, I suck". Also, the lovely Mix Diskerud has this face. Some other bidone faces, but not total bidoni would be Luca Modric or Fernando Torres. By no means are they bidoni, but they sure got the look.

The most important part: sucking at football. This is the easiest to figure out(for most people). Once again, Daniele Bonera fits perfect, which is why he is the global standard of a perfectly average bidone. There's not too much to say in this category. Just don't accidently underrate players and tag them as a bidone.

Overall, make sure a player has a very pedestrian, average name that just makes you know he's bad. He must also have the look of a sucky player. Again, very average looking or just ordinary usually works as bidone. Lastly, they got to suck. That's easy. Now, I'm going to give a list of the top 10 bidone in Italian football so you can become a bidoni spotter in no time.

Top 10 Bidoni in Serie A

1. Daniele Bonera

2. Francesco Acerbi

3. Djamel Mesbah

4. Christian Zaccardo

5. Bakaye Traore

6. Maxi Lopez

7. Paul Papp

8. Davide Biondini

9. Fredy Guarin

10. Simone Pepe

Remember, a bidone MUST fit into all catagories, otherwise he's not a bidone.